Great post. Great writing. And so true. I've been a professional photographer all my life. Published two books, and after my last book came out, I decided it was just too much—too difficult—and gave up photography completely.
{checks notes...}
Oh, right—I tried to give it up. But "it" wouldn’t let me. And now I’m 400,000 images into my next book.
So yeah, the word addiction floats to the top of my mind. Or, as Elizabeth Gilbert put it so much more eloquently:
“Possessing a creative mind, after all, is something like having a border collie for a pet: It needs to work, or else it will cause you an outrageous amount of trouble. Give your mind a job to do, or else it will find a job to do, and you might not like the job it invents (eating the couch, digging a hole through the living room floor, biting the mailman, etc.). It has taken me years to learn this, but it does seem to be the case that if I am not actively creating something, then I am probably actively destroying something (myself, a relationship, or my own peace of mind).
The lightbulb went off. I am a creator. If I cannot create, then I can not show up for the people in my life I love most. It’s a basic need for me, that the pyramid of other basic needs (love, shelter, food) pivots on. Create or perish.”
I just cant give up photography, i have found a style of backdrop that is a pain in the behind to get but no the less i just cant help but keep going. The lucky part is the backdrop can be made in my backyard from all the trees so no travel. I get up each morning and do it all again. I can see your point about the stress and i get what your saying bill. I love how you wrote it, your an amazing writer. Enjoy the rest of your day.
That “stomach ulcer and bitter resentment” part really got me. I listened to him on Rick Ruben’s podcast the other day. And it made my stomach turn. I really tried to understand it, but I guess my mind is just not expanded enough to understand how “nothing changes” is some profound new art form. Crazy. Despite all of this, and our impending doom, we shoot.
Apparently I am a glutton for punishment, having actually chosen to shoot 4x5 film (and nobody's paying me to do it either). It's just like regular photography, except everything takes 3 times longer, the gear is 5 times heavier and twice the size (although some of the faster full-frame zoom lenses are getting to be heavier than my entire 4x5 setup combined these days...), the film is even more expensive and requires special handling just to get it from the box to the camera, and the ways one can stuff up an exposure are both countless and inevitable.
But then again I spend 8 hours a day 5 days a week at a computer for my day job. It's probably healthy to have at least one hobby that requires me to stand up and where I genuinely *can* eschew the computer in it's entirely if I choose to, well, at least once I'm done rebuilding the darkroom.
I have been haunted by photography off and on since I was 8 (1960) and I retired from nearly 40 years of building cabinets, furniture and museum and gallery displays (woodworking) in 2021. Yes, I have thousands of dollars in photo gear and lots of tools, though, I did not have to buy the big machines, as I was an employee. I still have all my fingers although I have modified a couple of them. Now if I could write like you it would be a trifecta. I thoroughly enjoyed this piece.
Thank you! I needed that chuckle today! Looking at that pile of cameras, lenses and what not that have become nearly worthless to sell but highly expensive to use 😏 wait…there is a storm coming…Gotta go take the old Mamiya out and shoot it…
This made my morning. As an amateur photographer for the past 25+ years, I relate to each point made. Good thing I stopped watching The New Yankee Workshop…that would have been disastrous.
Did I laugh until it hurt, or did it hurt and I had to laugh?
Bill,
Great post. Great writing. And so true. I've been a professional photographer all my life. Published two books, and after my last book came out, I decided it was just too much—too difficult—and gave up photography completely.
{checks notes...}
Oh, right—I tried to give it up. But "it" wouldn’t let me. And now I’m 400,000 images into my next book.
So yeah, the word addiction floats to the top of my mind. Or, as Elizabeth Gilbert put it so much more eloquently:
“Possessing a creative mind, after all, is something like having a border collie for a pet: It needs to work, or else it will cause you an outrageous amount of trouble. Give your mind a job to do, or else it will find a job to do, and you might not like the job it invents (eating the couch, digging a hole through the living room floor, biting the mailman, etc.). It has taken me years to learn this, but it does seem to be the case that if I am not actively creating something, then I am probably actively destroying something (myself, a relationship, or my own peace of mind).
The lightbulb went off. I am a creator. If I cannot create, then I can not show up for the people in my life I love most. It’s a basic need for me, that the pyramid of other basic needs (love, shelter, food) pivots on. Create or perish.”
From her book Big Magic
Oh my gosh, what a perfect sentiment. Thank you for sharing!
I feel seen 👀
I just cant give up photography, i have found a style of backdrop that is a pain in the behind to get but no the less i just cant help but keep going. The lucky part is the backdrop can be made in my backyard from all the trees so no travel. I get up each morning and do it all again. I can see your point about the stress and i get what your saying bill. I love how you wrote it, your an amazing writer. Enjoy the rest of your day.
Very kind of you, thank you. And I very much feel this: "I just can't help but keep going."
Photography is better than Lepidoptery. You have any idea of the travel budget for serious Lepidopterists? Plus the mosquito repellant?
I could never be a lepidopterist. I'm afraid of heights.
Hehe. Thoroughly enjoyed this. Thanks!
I lol’d. This is gold
Hilariously, true.
That “stomach ulcer and bitter resentment” part really got me. I listened to him on Rick Ruben’s podcast the other day. And it made my stomach turn. I really tried to understand it, but I guess my mind is just not expanded enough to understand how “nothing changes” is some profound new art form. Crazy. Despite all of this, and our impending doom, we shoot.
“Impending doom.” Hyperbole or apt descriptor? The fun part is, we never know!
Thank you for reading and commenting, Ashley. I appreciate it!
Apparently I am a glutton for punishment, having actually chosen to shoot 4x5 film (and nobody's paying me to do it either). It's just like regular photography, except everything takes 3 times longer, the gear is 5 times heavier and twice the size (although some of the faster full-frame zoom lenses are getting to be heavier than my entire 4x5 setup combined these days...), the film is even more expensive and requires special handling just to get it from the box to the camera, and the ways one can stuff up an exposure are both countless and inevitable.
But then again I spend 8 hours a day 5 days a week at a computer for my day job. It's probably healthy to have at least one hobby that requires me to stand up and where I genuinely *can* eschew the computer in it's entirely if I choose to, well, at least once I'm done rebuilding the darkroom.
I have been haunted by photography off and on since I was 8 (1960) and I retired from nearly 40 years of building cabinets, furniture and museum and gallery displays (woodworking) in 2021. Yes, I have thousands of dollars in photo gear and lots of tools, though, I did not have to buy the big machines, as I was an employee. I still have all my fingers although I have modified a couple of them. Now if I could write like you it would be a trifecta. I thoroughly enjoyed this piece.
That is very kind and I appreciate it.
Your use of the word “modified” w/r/t your fingers made me grin, so I’d say you’ve hit the trifecta, at least for today.
Thank you! I needed that chuckle today! Looking at that pile of cameras, lenses and what not that have become nearly worthless to sell but highly expensive to use 😏 wait…there is a storm coming…Gotta go take the old Mamiya out and shoot it…
So well said 🤣
Outstanding. Painfully accurate!
Hilarious, true and thank you
This made my morning. As an amateur photographer for the past 25+ years, I relate to each point made. Good thing I stopped watching The New Yankee Workshop…that would have been disastrous.
Somewhere a woodworking photographer is exclaiming "Hey wait a damn minute!"