I want to write about the experience of receiving a damning portfolio review. My sense is that one just has to trust instincts, try hard, and realise that everyone’s criticism comes from their own circumstances.
This is very true. I wonder if what I think of as my identity is actually just frail ego.
Since this experience occurred I had another experience — nothing traumatic but I got a bit snippy with a client — because they bruised my ego. Not criticizing me but just sort of the way they were speaking to me. Anyway, I recognize I am sensitive and on edge and it’s probably a whole lot of ego ripe for the bruising.
As with so many other things, I pin the blame on social media. Folks feel compelled to have an opinion on absolutely everything, even when their opinion doesn’t matter at all. I mean, what if they hadn’t shared that feedback? Would you be roaming the photographic hinterlands making mediocre photos with wild abandon? Nope. But they. Must. Comment.
That, and they are totally angling for a discount. Which is equally gross.
If you had failed to carry out the assignment and a consideration was requested or implied....maybe. It depends on what your future is with the client. That said, are there circumstances where a client should give you extra?
I once photographed a wedding for a friend, for free. He knew I was a keen photographer and as he and his future wife needed to save some money, he asked me to do the shoot. He and his fiancee were fully aware that I have never been a professional wedding photographer but I have done quite a few wedding shoots down the years.
We agreed that the couple would chaperone the guests on their big day (as I knew none of them) and ensure that I took photographs of everyone there - and as many of the main 'runners and riders' as the couple wanted. I also attended the wedding breakfast - so I was with them from just before midday on the wedding day until about 1am the following morning. I worked over the weekend to post-process the hundreds of photos, which were with them within a couple of days. The wedded couple were arranging to have the prints done and their album compiled.
A week later, my friend met me and told me that his new wife wasn't happy with me as I hadn't taken enough photos of her mother at the wedding breakfast. I reminded him that they had volunteered to provide full guidance and access to who they wanted to be photographed, where and how many - and I had done exactly as instructed. Despite this, as a goodwill gesture, I offered to take his mother-in-law to the venue and shoot some more photographs of her in the attire she wore on the day. My offer was declined but the whining continued. Eventually, I wished them a happy life together and have never met or talked with them again. that was over 10 years ago.
The moral of the tale is that some people are never happy - even if you meet their brief - TO THE LETTER. They will always make some criticism. Reasons / excuses vary but it never leaves a pleasant taste in your mouth. It's more difficult to argue your piece when you're being paid to do the job. I was glad to be able to cut off the noise at source. However, it made me very wary of agreeing to do wedding shoots for family / friends.
This is a horror story through and through, and incredibly relatable. Familiar, even, to me and I’m sure many other readers. It reminds me of a favorite truism: “No good deed goes unpunished.”
If you provide me with their address I’ll gladly mail them a box of moths.
I certainly get where you're coming from, and understand how a simple "I don't love this" can be like taking a .22 off a door panel. Won't kill you but it scrapes the paint. I think we've all been there to a degree. And, for me, I have a bad tendency to focus on that THAT rather than all the good parts of the shoot. I guess we're all susceptible to it. Which makes me feel *a little* better. :-)
Some actors say they don’t read their reviews, because if you’re gonna believe the good ones you have to believe the bad ones. I need to adopt this policy. Don’t be affected by the praise so the negatives won’t get me down.
Invoice first, publish later. Who knows, maybe they subscribe too. Other than that - it's just things people say. Plus, plenty of great shots never make the cut. For all sorts of reasons, so one average in a collection of greats, yeah, don't love it. Take the good and leave the rest.
I know, I love all my children too. But we have to protect ourselves (and the work) for those mental health reasons, this helps :-) PS, the pictures are my only kids!
A clever retort can be hard to come up with after such a comment. However, consider it an opportunity to put a pithy comeback in storage for next time like, "it's not my favorite, either." It validates the clients perspective and is honest.
I know the feeling. Just this week I found myself getting defensive when a client questioned my approach to something, and then my rates. We weren’t even in the image-making stage, and my blood was boiling. In the moment, it feels like they are de validating your entire existence. Probably because we haven’t validated ourselves properly. And this highlights are biggest fears about ourselves. So yea… we’re too sensitive, because we care too much. Personally, I don’t want to stop caring.
.. “nobody bats a thousand..” - Bill - nobody even bats .400 these days !
(& ‘Substack Photography’ ain’t the Big Leagues - not even close - so why vent here ?)
Shrug it off m’man - you’re not responsible for that client’s state of mind or choice of words
Have you never caught an ‘inference or ‘tone’ via Text, Memo or Message that bothered you ? Haha - of course you have & so have I ! I call those ‘a purpose pitch’ (baseball analogy again !)
Sometimes it’s a ‘Message & sometimes it’s just ‘Grammar or bad spelling hoho !
It’s my perspective that you only batted .996 on that Shoot ! Do Better eh ! 🦎🏴☠️📸
Words - Phrase & Context’ really matter to me Bill.. whether ‘spoken or written. Your Notes or Posts - or Venting haha.. get my attention & for good reasons too ! I don’t recall at this moment in time - a particular shoot or client laying such a comment on me as a ‘shooter, DOP or Director but have witnessed / heard such stuff often enuff & it’s just plain tiresome & unproductive & petty. Accomplishes nothing - but for some ? It’s just ‘their way of being..
I do my share of ‘critique or venting here via Notes only - but most is aimed at the Algorithmic ‘snuff job & those ‘gaming it via Backscratching or ‘Interviewing Each Other - Few here are tolerant of any level of critique or professional observation. Everyone with a cel phone or camera ‘Is a photographer in my particular perspective. Would I hire them or buy their photos ? No. But they might have a great idea or wondrous shot & am all in for that !
An artist who’s sheer talent & commitment I admire a ton posted a similar observation to yours - just the other day - re a whiny comment that really irked her - bothered her all day. As a professional writer I realized it was just a cheap shot comment from someone who could barely ‘write, much less ‘communicate coherently.. but the damage was done.
Vent or throw challenge my way - any time & any day .. I can take it & dish it out too.. & the trick is ‘I learn from it’ or at least attempt to find ‘the lesson - if any.
Did your client say that to you only - ‘soto voce’ ? Or enlighten the entire cohort with their uh ‘misgivings ? Haha ! Have seen some ‘client meltdowns in my time .. on set, on location & seen some ‘crew reaction’ on truly rare occasions hoho !
And frankly that’s what’s so interesting to me about it. Overall she was quite pleased. It was just this little thing in this one shot she didn’t love. Almost in passing mentioned it. But it cut like a knife, which is really more the inspiration for the piece. Not her callousness but my sensitivity. It’s hard to be thin skinned and put yourself out there.
Why don’t you ask them what they love most, and what they love less? Outcome is the same, but it creates some filter for your emotional response, and at the end, you also get more input about their preference rather than just cold absolute judgement.
I certainly need some method to soften my emotional response, that’s for sure.
I often wonder if my open and friendly and generally people pleasing approach to client interactions puts me in a position where they feel I am their subordinate (which, of course, on some level I am) and thus should speak to me in the manner one might speak to an incompetent trainee.
In this particular case the root cause of the issue was what it often is: the one the client didn’t love was the one in which the client herself featured prominently.
Or art or math, that is the question. The client could have been bit clearer: I don’t fucking love that. I’m dealing with the same issue (is there an issue?) all my life: my reasonings are right but they don’t give a fuck, but I can’t avoid it, it’s my background
"Keep your identity small" is the best advice I've heard in the last few years.
That seems like great advice. Now to figure out how.
There’s probably a book deal in it for you if you figure it out 😅
I’ll fake it!
Likewise, “Ego is the enemy”.
I want to write about the experience of receiving a damning portfolio review. My sense is that one just has to trust instincts, try hard, and realise that everyone’s criticism comes from their own circumstances.
This is very true. I wonder if what I think of as my identity is actually just frail ego.
Since this experience occurred I had another experience — nothing traumatic but I got a bit snippy with a client — because they bruised my ego. Not criticizing me but just sort of the way they were speaking to me. Anyway, I recognize I am sensitive and on edge and it’s probably a whole lot of ego ripe for the bruising.
Oh they are for sure getting dumber. And caring less. For those of us who still care, it’s hard to swallow.
As with so many other things, I pin the blame on social media. Folks feel compelled to have an opinion on absolutely everything, even when their opinion doesn’t matter at all. I mean, what if they hadn’t shared that feedback? Would you be roaming the photographic hinterlands making mediocre photos with wild abandon? Nope. But they. Must. Comment.
That, and they are totally angling for a discount. Which is equally gross.
It’s certainly possible it was about a discount, though that has not yet been requested.
When it comes to discounts, no dice. I am like Evel Knievel: “I am paid for the attempt.”
No! No! No!
If you had failed to carry out the assignment and a consideration was requested or implied....maybe. It depends on what your future is with the client. That said, are there circumstances where a client should give you extra?
Only if they ask for more than what we agreed on.
Dude, ROASTED broccoli (or better yet CAULIFLOWER!) is the way to go! They need advice on WHAT to order and how to communicate it 🙄
I do have a lovely recipe for roasted broccoli and cauliflower that I would be happy to share here.
That is exactly right tho. Our clients often don’t know how to order properly, now more than ever.
MEH
This is a friendly place. I’m gonna respectfully ask for fewer mehs.
it was in solidarity, Jay and I are friends
I’m glad to hear it. It reads as utterly dismissive of his comment.
Meh to clients is right
That's frustrating.
I once photographed a wedding for a friend, for free. He knew I was a keen photographer and as he and his future wife needed to save some money, he asked me to do the shoot. He and his fiancee were fully aware that I have never been a professional wedding photographer but I have done quite a few wedding shoots down the years.
We agreed that the couple would chaperone the guests on their big day (as I knew none of them) and ensure that I took photographs of everyone there - and as many of the main 'runners and riders' as the couple wanted. I also attended the wedding breakfast - so I was with them from just before midday on the wedding day until about 1am the following morning. I worked over the weekend to post-process the hundreds of photos, which were with them within a couple of days. The wedded couple were arranging to have the prints done and their album compiled.
A week later, my friend met me and told me that his new wife wasn't happy with me as I hadn't taken enough photos of her mother at the wedding breakfast. I reminded him that they had volunteered to provide full guidance and access to who they wanted to be photographed, where and how many - and I had done exactly as instructed. Despite this, as a goodwill gesture, I offered to take his mother-in-law to the venue and shoot some more photographs of her in the attire she wore on the day. My offer was declined but the whining continued. Eventually, I wished them a happy life together and have never met or talked with them again. that was over 10 years ago.
The moral of the tale is that some people are never happy - even if you meet their brief - TO THE LETTER. They will always make some criticism. Reasons / excuses vary but it never leaves a pleasant taste in your mouth. It's more difficult to argue your piece when you're being paid to do the job. I was glad to be able to cut off the noise at source. However, it made me very wary of agreeing to do wedding shoots for family / friends.
This is a horror story through and through, and incredibly relatable. Familiar, even, to me and I’m sure many other readers. It reminds me of a favorite truism: “No good deed goes unpunished.”
If you provide me with their address I’ll gladly mail them a box of moths.
LOL...! I was thinking more along the lines of "May the fleas of a thousand camels infest their armpits"...!
I certainly get where you're coming from, and understand how a simple "I don't love this" can be like taking a .22 off a door panel. Won't kill you but it scrapes the paint. I think we've all been there to a degree. And, for me, I have a bad tendency to focus on that THAT rather than all the good parts of the shoot. I guess we're all susceptible to it. Which makes me feel *a little* better. :-)
Some actors say they don’t read their reviews, because if you’re gonna believe the good ones you have to believe the bad ones. I need to adopt this policy. Don’t be affected by the praise so the negatives won’t get me down.
Invoice first, publish later. Who knows, maybe they subscribe too. Other than that - it's just things people say. Plus, plenty of great shots never make the cut. For all sorts of reasons, so one average in a collection of greats, yeah, don't love it. Take the good and leave the rest.
I’m terrible at “take the good and leave the rest” but it’s very good advice.
I know, I love all my children too. But we have to protect ourselves (and the work) for those mental health reasons, this helps :-) PS, the pictures are my only kids!
A clever retort can be hard to come up with after such a comment. However, consider it an opportunity to put a pithy comeback in storage for next time like, "it's not my favorite, either." It validates the clients perspective and is honest.
“No good deed goes unpunished” is one of my favorite favorite sentences. Why is it so true???
Reading this, Made me smile….as an artist, it resonates.
Ha! Unfortunately it’s probably pretty universal!
I know the feeling. Just this week I found myself getting defensive when a client questioned my approach to something, and then my rates. We weren’t even in the image-making stage, and my blood was boiling. In the moment, it feels like they are de validating your entire existence. Probably because we haven’t validated ourselves properly. And this highlights are biggest fears about ourselves. So yea… we’re too sensitive, because we care too much. Personally, I don’t want to stop caring.
Also sometimes people have dumb opinions. 😊
Brilliant! This all feels exactly right. “De valuing your entire existence.” Because they wish they hadn’t worn that jacket, or whatever.
Believe it or not, I’m starting to think a LOT of people might have dumb opinions.
.. “nobody bats a thousand..” - Bill - nobody even bats .400 these days !
(& ‘Substack Photography’ ain’t the Big Leagues - not even close - so why vent here ?)
Shrug it off m’man - you’re not responsible for that client’s state of mind or choice of words
Have you never caught an ‘inference or ‘tone’ via Text, Memo or Message that bothered you ? Haha - of course you have & so have I ! I call those ‘a purpose pitch’ (baseball analogy again !)
Sometimes it’s a ‘Message & sometimes it’s just ‘Grammar or bad spelling hoho !
It’s my perspective that you only batted .996 on that Shoot ! Do Better eh ! 🦎🏴☠️📸
Venting here is kind of my thing.
Words - Phrase & Context’ really matter to me Bill.. whether ‘spoken or written. Your Notes or Posts - or Venting haha.. get my attention & for good reasons too ! I don’t recall at this moment in time - a particular shoot or client laying such a comment on me as a ‘shooter, DOP or Director but have witnessed / heard such stuff often enuff & it’s just plain tiresome & unproductive & petty. Accomplishes nothing - but for some ? It’s just ‘their way of being..
I do my share of ‘critique or venting here via Notes only - but most is aimed at the Algorithmic ‘snuff job & those ‘gaming it via Backscratching or ‘Interviewing Each Other - Few here are tolerant of any level of critique or professional observation. Everyone with a cel phone or camera ‘Is a photographer in my particular perspective. Would I hire them or buy their photos ? No. But they might have a great idea or wondrous shot & am all in for that !
An artist who’s sheer talent & commitment I admire a ton posted a similar observation to yours - just the other day - re a whiny comment that really irked her - bothered her all day. As a professional writer I realized it was just a cheap shot comment from someone who could barely ‘write, much less ‘communicate coherently.. but the damage was done.
Vent or throw challenge my way - any time & any day .. I can take it & dish it out too.. & the trick is ‘I learn from it’ or at least attempt to find ‘the lesson - if any.
Did your client say that to you only - ‘soto voce’ ? Or enlighten the entire cohort with their uh ‘misgivings ? Haha ! Have seen some ‘client meltdowns in my time .. on set, on location & seen some ‘crew reaction’ on truly rare occasions hoho !
🦎🏴☠️🧨
This is a great comment. Thank you for sharing it!
“tiresome & unproductive & petty” is the perfect description of what she did.
And frankly that’s what’s so interesting to me about it. Overall she was quite pleased. It was just this little thing in this one shot she didn’t love. Almost in passing mentioned it. But it cut like a knife, which is really more the inspiration for the piece. Not her callousness but my sensitivity. It’s hard to be thin skinned and put yourself out there.
Every Single Pro Shoot - It’s the very same - you put Everything on the Line for the Client(s) - before / during / after The Shoot
So I don’t see it as ‘thin skinned’ Bill - It’s your Self Respect & Professional Pride being dissed - as you’re in the heat of the battle
Why don’t you ask them what they love most, and what they love less? Outcome is the same, but it creates some filter for your emotional response, and at the end, you also get more input about their preference rather than just cold absolute judgement.
I certainly need some method to soften my emotional response, that’s for sure.
I often wonder if my open and friendly and generally people pleasing approach to client interactions puts me in a position where they feel I am their subordinate (which, of course, on some level I am) and thus should speak to me in the manner one might speak to an incompetent trainee.
In this particular case the root cause of the issue was what it often is: the one the client didn’t love was the one in which the client herself featured prominently.
Or art or math, that is the question. The client could have been bit clearer: I don’t fucking love that. I’m dealing with the same issue (is there an issue?) all my life: my reasonings are right but they don’t give a fuck, but I can’t avoid it, it’s my background